Tuesday, August 22, 2006
posted at 9:30 PM by
Gino
"alone in anarchy"
i break into a million piece
as i watched you walk away
i thought that everything was fine
did'nt think that it would end this way
sanity hanging by a thread
i ran out of things to whisper
lying down in a corner crying
as i dawn another lonely vesper
*
where did i go wrong?
sitting here in an empty seat
no one next to me for me to hold
no one beside for me to kiss
how i miss the days when you're right here by my side
when we did'nt care about what people think
all we had was each other
and that was all that mattered
since you've been gone
everything was just a memory
of a never ending moment
of hope and endless tragedies
now i let it rest
just leave me alone
no once can ease this sadness
no one, just her alone
*
lying on my deathbed
as i close my eyes for an eternal sleep
taking in a deeper slumber
forced to be alone forever
Monday, July 24, 2006
posted at 7:38 PM by
Gino
a lot of things have happened but it seems like a guitar playing one note all day long. i lived a life of redundancy, a boring life to others where the past just repeats itself over and over again. i thought i grew but i was still too young. too young to be feeling this sudden burst of emotion. i am at my limits, all i have left i have given up. i am no super hero, im just a person, a man who gets tired, who gets hurt, who gets his face bashed against the wall, a man who was stepped on.
its hard to live a life where no one acknowledges you. then again, what can i expect from the people around me? i gave my all but i came up short both in thought and physique. what can people see in this vessel? nothing more than the person inside i guess, empty.
for the past years, i was so much focused on myself. i didnt give a damn about the things around me. when i started to think of myself less, there was a collaboration of mixed emotions. some felt good, some felt real, some felt disheartening through every ordeal. people look at me and see the scars of a never ending battle within myself. no matter how hard i try to hide it, it shows, as if it was for other people to laugh at, for other people to use as an opportunity. so much for this life.
through my imperfections, i have learned to love you completely. a feeling so strong that i risked losing you just for you to have your happiness. it was all that mattered, irregardless of my standing, my humanity, and my conciousness. i wanted the best for you but i wanted you to live a life that you wanted to live more. your happiness was suppose to be mine but fact remains, i am human. i dont want to lose you, and i am prepared to lose even nothingness just for you, even though i know i couldnt ask for anything in return...
to be continued...
i guess even in goodbye's... the bitter pangs of the people who wanna hurt you intentionally or unintentionally are there.. most are glad so few weep.. either way it hurts so bad.. when you have to give something away.. something so dear.. something that made you whole.. as you take a moment to steup on a different path.. you carry the weight of the past.. un able to let go for it clings to you like your own blood.. it flows through you cause that was the moment at best...the blood keeps you heart beating.. it can also tear it apart.. leaving a world.. to find a place of serenity.. yet what flows within you has been corrupted.. forever...
the final piece coming up soon... talagang humirit ka pa.. hindi kita kayang masabihan ng masama.. pero talagang humirit ka pa.. kung kelan namamatay na ko..
Saturday, July 22, 2006
posted at 11:26 PM by
Gino
days, weeks, months, years have passed.. it all seemed like a moment of endless pages of yesterdays.. a book has been done and ended.. all things must come to an end.. and i am an example.. a life short lived yet tried all to live its best... the best that no one recognized... i am not a man of great influence.. i do not reinstate myself to something that is not me.. i've done all i could and the things i thought i could never do.. yet nothing changes around me.. its been the same.. for this old man who seemed to have lived his life for everything there is to live for.. has gone and finnaly reached an end.. ending up dead last but finished the race with one leg to stand on.. one eye to see.. one hand to touch.. one ear to listen.. one half of the person i was.. not broken in two but rather forever missing those pieces that makes me who.. what i am.. all things said and done.. it all connotes to one thing.. my blogging starts and end here.. and now.. i didnt intend to imitate anyone.. this is a decision i had thought of long and hard.. it was never easy.. a farewell to a world that gave me both happiness and sorrow.. where the thoughts of countless inhabitants of this land came into being for others to see a different side of life.. but when there is life.. there is death.. farewell to a lot of things i will leave behind to this intricate world of collaboration of thoughts and emotions..
to make things short.. well its kinda long as it is already.. might as well live up to it.. this is probably my last post here.. this is not a gimmick to attract readers or anything.. this is the real deal.. hehe.. fact is.. i havent even changed my template.. fact is i dont really know how.. and the things i right.. just isnt what it was like before.. or rather.. it came to a point where i myself had to conceal it to myself.. before i take the heave ho.. i would like to aia for everthing in this blog.. especially the template.. the comments and everything.. and for the visitors.. thanks for your time in visiting this site..
i'll leave you all with a final work.. something that could possibly mean something significant to this decision of mine.. i'll try to post it as soon as i can.. my last work.. the final chapter of everything..
Sunday, July 02, 2006
posted at 7:20 PM by
Gino
wow.. for the first time in a long time.. once again i am blessed with a term with no failing grade!!! grabe.. would you believe na the only term na wala akong bagsak (except this one too ^_^) is nung 1st year 1st term ng college life ko? I mean?!?! kamusta namaN!?!?! for a span of errr 16 months (months narin ako magbilang ngayon katulad ng
isa jan hehehe) puro nalang may bagsak at least 1 or 2 subjects! pero ngayon! by the grace of GOD.. hay.. nawalan din ako ng bagsak!! may mapagmamalaki sa magulang ko kahit pang 3 buwan lang! nyahahaha!sobrang thank you sa lahat talaga... first and foremost kay GOD kasi sobrang tinolerate nya lahat ng kalokohan ko and He was very gracious to pass me kahit na ganito ako uhmm.. ka bad.. ^_^ secondly to my parents who believed in me even though i didnt have the strenght to tell them na parang babagsak ako ng madami ngayong term.. buti nalang at wala kaya pwede ko na sabihin ang status ng grades ko for this term.. 3rd is my friends especially the MB and the A-14 err 15 na ata basta mapua berx.. pati po sa berx nila kurt, allen and napakaraming tao sa mapua.. last but not the least.. my only reason for living.. my
BES.. sobrang thank you for everything.. as in everything.. especially the magical pencil that helped me pass all of my final exams.. to the people that i havent mentioned but i owe thanks kudos to all of you.. sobrang thank you.. this term meant a lot for me.. and the moment was just a miracle.. thank you GOD.. thank you people..
Saturday, July 01, 2006
posted at 12:34 PM by
Gino
What is the thing you want the most? What would you give up in exchange for it?
Write you answers sa comments.. much obliged. Good noon.
Monday, June 26, 2006
posted at 8:54 AM by
Gino
no matter what you do.. no matter how hard you try.. people can put you down wherein you cant stand up.. may it be people close to you or people who you dont even know.. you cannot make them see you for who you really are.. what sticks to them is how they knew you back then.. not a moment to spare to try to look and see.. the changes that transpired in you and me.. taking back those moments that have gone away hoping to change the past's each day.. maybe for a chance to let it all go away.. this stupid sense of lasting impressions that insists to stay.. some things old some things new.. most things changed are forgotten yet all bad things still remain..
nothing more than a **********
they think i cant change my trait of being **********
i know people refuse to see
my life now changed.. *sigh*
there was a reason why being alone became an important part of my life.. because thats what it really is.. a life where some may live in.. who ever said that man cannot live alone.. i dont think thats even a challenge for some people.. especially when they are the ones being driven away by they're loved ones.. *sigh*
nothing more than a ***********
just nothing more...
Monday, June 12, 2006
posted at 3:18 PM by
Gino
its been months and the times keep on flying by.. i barely noticed that i havent posted for a long time.. hectic sched.. relentless schoolwork.. and tons and tons of annoying people bugging me all day long... an endless cycle of life in motion.. just what i just said to a certain someone.. "life's a tease".. in and out just like that.. frustrating...
it's always been about you..
ive always wondered why it always had been this way.. it's always been about you.. i think ive grown accultured to it.. spending all of my time thinking yet all time spent fades in an instant.. all because of you.. i couldn't say no.. or rather.. i didnt want to say no.. i have the choices.. but i chose you over everything else.. even if it meant losing everything.. i gambled every circumstance sticking my neck out of the window everytime.. about to crash but never had a care.. sacrifice has been a social obligation.. for me to say the least.. and as i indulge on this obssesion i shared both joy and sorrow.. i went through the wilderness of the city with a gun aimed at me within point blank range.. worrying at every single moment that the gun may go off any hour any minute any second.. blood sweat and tears as i die to myself for all time spent just to make you happy.. i share the blessing of your happiness and i share the pain of your sorrow.. i share your burden together with me.. carrying twice the weight of the world on my shoulders walking miles and miles from first to last.. could you take a while and listen to my heart crying out? take your time and clear your mind from everything.. to hear this heartbeat of mine that asks no love in return.. give and take.. all i gave and all you took.. i felt bliss yet i feel depraved.. not from the things of the world but what matters most.. how i wish it was not a one sided affair.. yet.. right now.. im just afraid of losing you if ever i speak of it.. better this than yesterday...
-ino tiglao original
