Saved by God graced with an angel

song

2006-08-22T21:30:00.000+08:00

"alone in anarchy"

i break into a million piece
as i watched you walk away
i thought that everything was fine
did'nt think that it would end this way

sanity hanging by a thread
i ran out of things to whisper
lying down in a corner crying
as i dawn another lonely vesper

*
where did i go wrong?
sitting here in an empty seat
no one next to me for me to hold
no one beside for me to kiss
how i miss the days when you're right here by my side
when we did'nt care about what people think
all we had was each other
and that was all that mattered

since you've been gone
everything was just a memory
of a never ending moment
of hope and endless tragedies

now i let it rest
just leave me alone
no once can ease this sadness
no one, just her alone

*

lying on my deathbed
as i close my eyes for an eternal sleep
taking in a deeper slumber
forced to be alone forever

packing my bags.. 1

2006-07-24T19:38:00.000+08:00

a lot of things have happened but it seems like a guitar playing one note all day long. i lived a life of redundancy, a boring life to others where the past just repeats itself over and over again. i thought i grew but i was still too young. too young to be feeling this sudden burst of emotion. i am at my limits, all i have left i have given up. i am no super hero, im just a person, a man who gets tired, who gets hurt, who gets his face bashed against the wall, a man who was stepped on.

its hard to live a life where no one acknowledges you. then again, what can i expect from the people around me? i gave my all but i came up short both in thought and physique. what can people see in this vessel? nothing more than the person inside i guess, empty.

for the past years, i was so much focused on myself. i didnt give a damn about the things around me. when i started to think of myself less, there was a collaboration of mixed emotions. some felt good, some felt real, some felt disheartening through every ordeal. people look at me and see the scars of a never ending battle within myself. no matter how hard i try to hide it, it shows, as if it was for other people to laugh at, for other people to use as an opportunity. so much for this life.

through my imperfections, i have learned to love you completely. a feeling so strong that i risked losing you just for you to have your happiness. it was all that mattered, irregardless of my standing, my humanity, and my conciousness. i wanted the best for you but i wanted you to live a life that you wanted to live more. your happiness was suppose to be mine but fact remains, i am human. i dont want to lose you, and i am prepared to lose even nothingness just for you, even though i know i couldnt ask for anything in return...

to be continued...

aalis na nga lang talagang may pahabol pa

2006-07-24T12:12:00.000+08:00

i guess even in goodbye's... the bitter pangs of the people who wanna hurt you intentionally or unintentionally are there.. most are glad so few weep.. either way it hurts so bad.. when you have to give something away.. something so dear.. something that made you whole.. as you take a moment to steup on a different path.. you carry the weight of the past.. un able to let go for it clings to you like your own blood.. it flows through you cause that was the moment at best...the blood keeps you heart beating.. it can also tear it apart.. leaving a world.. to find a place of serenity.. yet what flows within you has been corrupted.. forever...

the final piece coming up soon... talagang humirit ka pa.. hindi kita kayang masabihan ng masama.. pero talagang humirit ka pa.. kung kelan namamatay na ko..

mi ultimo adios ino version

2006-07-22T23:26:00.000+08:00

days, weeks, months, years have passed.. it all seemed like a moment of endless pages of yesterdays.. a book has been done and ended.. all things must come to an end.. and i am an example.. a life short lived yet tried all to live its best... the best that no one recognized... i am not a man of great influence.. i do not reinstate myself to something that is not me.. i've done all i could and the things i thought i could never do.. yet nothing changes around me.. its been the same.. for this old man who seemed to have lived his life for everything there is to live for.. has gone and finnaly reached an end.. ending up dead last but finished the race with one leg to stand on.. one eye to see.. one hand to touch.. one ear to listen.. one half of the person i was.. not broken in two but rather forever missing those pieces that makes me who.. what i am.. all things said and done.. it all connotes to one thing.. my blogging starts and end here.. and now.. i didnt intend to imitate anyone.. this is a decision i had thought of long and hard.. it was never easy.. a farewell to a world that gave me both happiness and sorrow.. where the thoughts of countless inhabitants of this land came into being for others to see a different side of life.. but when there is life.. there is death.. farewell to a lot of things i will leave behind to this intricate world of collaboration of thoughts and emotions..

to make things short.. well its kinda long as it is already.. might as well live up to it.. this is probably my last post here.. this is not a gimmick to attract readers or anything.. this is the real deal.. hehe.. fact is.. i havent even changed my template.. fact is i dont really know how.. and the things i right.. just isnt what it was like before.. or rather.. it came to a point where i myself had to conceal it to myself.. before i take the heave ho.. i would like to aia for everthing in this blog.. especially the template.. the comments and everything.. and for the visitors.. thanks for your time in visiting this site..

i'll leave you all with a final work.. something that could possibly mean something significant to this decision of mine.. i'll try to post it as soon as i can.. my last work.. the final chapter of everything..

passed

2006-07-02T19:20:00.000+08:00

wow.. for the first time in a long time.. once again i am blessed with a term with no failing grade!!! grabe.. would you believe na the only term na wala akong bagsak (except this one too ^_^) is nung 1st year 1st term ng college life ko? I mean?!?! kamusta namaN!?!?! for a span of errr 16 months (months narin ako magbilang ngayon katulad ng isa jan hehehe) puro nalang may bagsak at least 1 or 2 subjects! pero ngayon! by the grace of GOD.. hay.. nawalan din ako ng bagsak!! may mapagmamalaki sa magulang ko kahit pang 3 buwan lang! nyahahaha!sobrang thank you sa lahat talaga... first and foremost kay GOD kasi sobrang tinolerate nya lahat ng kalokohan ko and He was very gracious to pass me kahit na ganito ako uhmm.. ka bad.. ^_^ secondly to my parents who believed in me even though i didnt have the strenght to tell them na parang babagsak ako ng madami ngayong term.. buti nalang at wala kaya pwede ko na sabihin ang status ng grades ko for this term.. 3rd is my friends especially the MB and the A-14 err 15 na ata basta mapua berx.. pati po sa berx nila kurt, allen and napakaraming tao sa mapua.. last but not the least.. my only reason for living.. my BES.. sobrang thank you for everything.. as in everything.. especially the magical pencil that helped me pass all of my final exams.. to the people that i havent mentioned but i owe thanks kudos to all of you.. sobrang thank you.. this term meant a lot for me.. and the moment was just a miracle.. thank you GOD.. thank you people..

Question

2006-07-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

What is the thing you want the most? What would you give up in exchange for it?

Write you answers sa comments.. much obliged. Good noon.

lasting impressions

2006-06-26T08:54:00.000+08:00

no matter what you do.. no matter how hard you try.. people can put you down wherein you cant stand up.. may it be people close to you or people who you dont even know.. you cannot make them see you for who you really are.. what sticks to them is how they knew you back then.. not a moment to spare to try to look and see.. the changes that transpired in you and me.. taking back those moments that have gone away hoping to change the past's each day.. maybe for a chance to let it all go away.. this stupid sense of lasting impressions that insists to stay.. some things old some things new.. most things changed are forgotten yet all bad things still remain..

nothing more than a **********

they think i cant change my trait of being **********

i know people refuse to see

my life now changed.. *sigh*

there was a reason why being alone became an important part of my life.. because thats what it really is.. a life where some may live in.. who ever said that man cannot live alone.. i dont think thats even a challenge for some people.. especially when they are the ones being driven away by they're loved ones.. *sigh*

nothing more than a ***********

just nothing more...

a long after summer..

2006-06-12T15:18:00.000+08:00

its been months and the times keep on flying by.. i barely noticed that i havent posted for a long time.. hectic sched.. relentless schoolwork.. and tons and tons of annoying people bugging me all day long... an endless cycle of life in motion.. just what i just said to a certain someone.. "life's a tease".. in and out just like that.. frustrating...

it's always been about you..

ive always wondered why it always had been this way.. it's always been about you.. i think ive grown accultured to it.. spending all of my time thinking yet all time spent fades in an instant.. all because of you.. i couldn't say no.. or rather.. i didnt want to say no.. i have the choices.. but i chose you over everything else.. even if it meant losing everything.. i gambled every circumstance sticking my neck out of the window everytime.. about to crash but never had a care.. sacrifice has been a social obligation.. for me to say the least.. and as i indulge on this obssesion i shared both joy and sorrow.. i went through the wilderness of the city with a gun aimed at me within point blank range.. worrying at every single moment that the gun may go off any hour any minute any second.. blood sweat and tears as i die to myself for all time spent just to make you happy.. i share the blessing of your happiness and i share the pain of your sorrow.. i share your burden together with me.. carrying twice the weight of the world on my shoulders walking miles and miles from first to last.. could you take a while and listen to my heart crying out? take your time and clear your mind from everything.. to hear this heartbeat of mine that asks no love in return.. give and take.. all i gave and all you took.. i felt bliss yet i feel depraved.. not from the things of the world but what matters most.. how i wish it was not a one sided affair.. yet.. right now.. im just afraid of losing you if ever i speak of it.. better this than yesterday...

-ino tiglao original

Gambler's Bluff

2006-05-16T13:41:00.000+08:00

Gambler's Bluff

Looking around for people to see
People who wouldnt condemn
To see this arrogant look on my face
As I go and laugh at them

They look at me as I stare back at them
This freakish smile is all they'll see
Cause when the time for fun is over
You wont be able to see ne

its not that im a fair weather friend
Or one side of a two faced coin
Flip me once more and ill flip again
Heas or tails, there's just no end

You love or you hate me
I dont give a damn
You who turned the tables around
To see the other side of who I am

Flip me once, and ill flip again
You wait anxiously on what comes out next
Not knowin there was a third side in the coin
And all of this was just a test

Pay attention, open your eyes and realize
You didnt figure out the real side of me
There was a second coin hidden somewhere
Such a fool, you used your mouth to see

wanted.. needed..

2006-05-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. you feel so important.. when people need you... when people constantly go to you for no apparent reason.. the need to be wanted.. the need to be needed.. isnt it a longing that we all desire to have? not just for the meantime.. but for the rest our lives.. not a moment to waste.. every moment commemorated.. as if it was the last day on earth.. wanted every second, every minute, every hour.. every thread of this lifetime.. *sigh* need me.. want me..

you loved for me only on holidays

2006-04-28T16:44:00.000+08:00

everything in this world is temporary as many people say. change is the only thing that is permanent. all of us are bound to change one way or another. knowing this as universal fact for almost if not everyone, how could we casually say forever, til the end of time and a lot more crap that involves something permanent? Could they really promise forever? and if they do, could they stay committed as they say they would be? let me share you a story..

this is the story of two young couples:

"you loved me only on the holidays"

she loveed him first, she loved me next. they shared many times together and we shared ours. he thought of it as a fling, i thought of it as a passion, but both couples should never be. he stood up to what is right at first. i stood up to what felt right. he broke up with the girl. she broke up with me. he moved on with his life and i stayed the same. he found new happiness again and i just gor over my infatuation. he didnt expect a next time. i didnt expect a next time. he went back to her. i went back to her. she was cold to him at first. she was warm to me. as time passed by she felt closer to him again, and i was left drifting away. but he broke up with her, but she broke up with me. they were still friends then. my heart was left frozen. their friendship grew for the better. i was still so cold. when they met after a long time, they were well acquainted. when we met, i was bitter and cold. they revisited their precious moments, while she was trying to patch things up with me. they shared good harmony together as i just finished dealing with her. they remained friends. i was back with her once more. things went well for both partners feeling the contentment inside out. things became mysterious for them and we were slowly drifting away. i thought for myself oh no not again as history repeats itself. they didnt see each other as much yet their togetherness flourishes even more. i lost sight of her and the next thing i know was she had to let me go. they fell in love again and he promised to do eveything to make this work. she hung to it so tight she wouldnt let go. i promised the same thing but it all ended in vain. he disappointed her again and she was devastated. she easily moved on without me. she live him forever. but she loved me only on the holidays..

sacrifice

2006-04-17T14:37:00.000+08:00

I don’t know when this feeling will end

This life’s struggle I continuously fend

If I continue to follow these feelings within

Only to live a life that is full of sin

I face everyday wandering if

I could step out of this horrible seethe

Staring blankly into the sky

Counting the days that passed me by

If I could only see you again

But I can’t even stare at your face

Feeling the shame that I suppress

Longing to feel your sweet caress

How I long to hold your hand

And drift away into another land

But there’s nothing more I can do

But to dream of me and you

If my love is wrong then I don’t want to be right

But I already lost before I began to fight

Only a star-crossed voyager could ever feel

This perfect love that seems so real

underneath the underneath

2006-04-05T08:42:00.000+08:00

when you look at thing, you often find mistakes at the first glance. some things may be seen pleasing to the eye at first but that is also where things that blind you seem to take place. most of us are mislead by first impressions which tend to stick in your mind at first then time changes things from truth to lie of the other way around.

its amazing how people can hide their true faces. sometimes the thrill tends to overshadow their faces even more making it harder for the eyes to see. you flutter around with your eyes closed shut afraid of what we may see. but you know for a fact that could hear their voices ringing inside your head. prancing around with a poker faced smile forcing your thoughts away from reality.

you know you cant be ignorant of the things around you any longer. time holds no bounds. you will have to face reality one way or another. to think that all that transpired in the beginning was a candy coated wall of an ill-fated horror, the essence withhold.

you have to face your demons and let go of all that selfishness and pride. you seem like your grandparent even when your not that old. you cant keep on dreamin' when you aint livin'. dont tell yourself that there is someone out there who can may your dreams come true. not everyone has the same dream as you nor would would anyone want to share that dream. why dont you get a shovel and start diggin', grab a pen and start writin', get a job and start workin', get a life and start livin'...

i love you.. but i dont want to be like you..

Congratulations to the newly weds of April 1 2006

2006-04-04T11:06:00.000+08:00

congratulations po sa lahat ng kinasal sa araw na toh.. sobrang daming kwela and katuwaan dito.. hehe.. here are some pics sa pangyayaring iyon sa zambales.. ahahaha.. special mention syempre ang tunay na nakasal which is:

KUYA BILLY AND ATE TIN! Congratulations and thank you from the bottom of my heart. i hope to see the both of you live a bountiful living and continue to grow in love and unity.

at eto naman ang mga ibang kinasala sa araw na yon.. bwahahahaahaahh

my bro and tito benjie.. ahahaha.. bagay talaga!

ligawan ng aking bro and my cuz paolo.. ahahaha.. nag katuluyan din eventually tapos nag pakasal.. nyahahhahah!

congratulations sa inyong lahat.. AHAHAHHAHA!! PEACE!

10 seconds

2006-03-30T18:44:00.000+08:00

Life has a funny way of making things happen. On one end you think that you have everything in the palm of your hands. Later that time you find out that you haven’t got a thing at all. I live in this unending world of uncertainty. Everything here has a sense of imaginary satisfaction. Just when you think that you’re grasping a beautiful flower, it turns out to be a rusty knife killing you slowly.

The beginning of something means the end of another. Everything in this place has a sense of universal balance. Equilibrium is pure in essence and inhabitance. How else would you know that what you’re doing is a bad thing when there is only good? Although most of us long to have it our way, it just doesn’t work that way.

I don’t want to stand in a multitude as a hypocrite proclaiming my happiness to the world yet in me resides the resentment for human life. I’d rather be silent than say things that would endanger my standing. It seems like playing safe but I would like to address it as holding my tongue.

I’m not like everyone else. I’ve had my shares of bountiful living and hitting rock bottom but I never found someone I could relate to. When people say that I’ve gone through the same thing, I never feel convinced. They have a life of their own, and I have life of my own, so how can they say that they know what it is like? Isn’t that just a presumption to make you feel that they’re in control of the situation?

Am I still selfish in my decisions? I think that I have disregarded myself for countless times now. What else is there left for me to do? I don’t have anything with me. Everything I have is a pile of sand where everything just slips away from my grip, slowly but surely gone in a matter of time. All things that exist here are truly temporary.

I wish that you were here, especially now in my current state of uncertainty. I can’t go on pretending I’m alright. You’re all that I need and I would ask for nothing more. I know I can’t have you no matter how hard I try, but here me calling out to you. I don’t want to ask you to be mine, but I would like to ask you to be here. Even though I know you’re happy with someone else, and I am not someone who’s able to make you smile all the time but even in my worthlessness, I would do everything I can to keep your life together.

I know it sounds crazy but I found joy in my insanity. No one can take that away from me and I have done a lot of soul searching before I even thought of this decision. From all these words I wrote, I know that God is a powerful testimony of my conviction. He knows how much I care for you, and more importantly, He knows how much I love you. That is why at the expense of my glee, I gave it up for your nirvana, for that is my new paradise.

As a man once said, “I live my life a quarter of a mile, nothing else matters, but in those ten seconds, I am free”. Most of you wouldn’t be able to relate to it but if you look hard enough, you will understand. Life is like driving, you should know when to stop of when to go, when to speed up, and when to slow down.

To the graduates of batch 2005-2006

2006-03-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

to all the people who graduated this year i congratulate all of you for doing a job well done.. new challenges ahead await for those who crossed this borther and we, the alumni, would like to welcome you to our world.. particularly the graduates of MIS..

to my bes na sobrang galing talaga.. she passed with flying colors indeed and i am deeply moved with her determination.. 4th honorable mention is something she worked hard for and she deserved it.. the best talaga bes ko.. aia.. "SHE's THE MAN" ahahahaha

congrats nga rin pala kay aunj.. ehehe.. since na link na kita special mention ka na rin.. haha.. btw.. hindi ako naglagay ng link ha? bes ko po.. its not that ayaw kita i-link.. its more of i dont know how.. nyahahaha.. pathetic.. o well.. til here nalang..

congrats din kay bobby.. besy ng aking bes.. outstanding.. 3 major schools ang pinasa namely ADMU, DLSU, UP.. san ka pa boi?!?! lufet talaga..

one more special mention is the one and only ivan dale sandiongco.. ang taong pinupusuan ng bes ko.. grabe.. one great guy that i didnt regret knowing.. he certainly fulfilled his end of the bargain and kahit ako pinagmamalaki ko rin siya.. thanks dude..

to the graduates.. my deepest thanks to everyone.. ^_^

2006-03-20T19:52:00.001+08:00

this is just a test

grayfox

2006-03-20T19:52:00.000+08:00

Cornered inside a foxhole with no way out, I grasp the only thing I have left, my last will and testament. All my hopes placed on an absurd piece of ruptured paper, I wait ‘til the dawn of crepuscule ambience. Is this the end of an omitted soul? Where are the seraphim’s calling, that I may partake the journey to the land of nevermore. Off I go to the place of never ending to abide in the inheritance laid out for my life. Nothing here pleases this tired shell of a human being no more.

Oh but there is one quintessence in which my heart dwells its delight upon. Who would have thought that this seventh heaven could exist in an angelic enchantress that inhabits this land? She is my hope in Pandora’s Box. The sanguineness ordered by the mighty hand of God to blot out the uncertainty in my fragmented heart. With the blessing of His son I have been made full.

Death most of the time seems to be the firsthand option of the discouraged. Death is not in vain when it is not disgraced with abrupt discrepancies of notorious inhabitance. People find honor in death for its grace and valiant display of tranquility. Cowards and disgruntled people tend to paint death with mischievous blood. The warrior’s blood vanquished from its rightful threshold and banished to the crook.

We may have lost countless battles but the war still goes on. Day and night I hear the gushing of blood that now defiles this sacred ground. I cannot disregard the call of my fallen comrades. If I wallow in fear now then an outbreak of merciless killing shall befall this shattered landscape. The fervor heart keeps on burning the flame from shimmering embers, though dimmed will soon burst into light that resembles the sun.

brightest

2006-03-20T07:07:00.001+08:00

this song really spoke to me since i cant compose anything worth listening to for a while.. so i decided to look for some songs that could get my mind working again.. since there are a lot of UDUB posers going around i looked for alternative solutions to quench this hunger for great music.. although nothin as great as UDUB.. this music shines through.. i wont write the name of the band cause people might go and say.. "AMF DOOD GALING NITONG BAND NA TOH PARE MAHAL KO NA SILA PARANG PARK CAR THIS PARK SKY MAKES CITY LIKES SHINE LIKES DAYAMONDS!" argh! posers!! anyway here it goes..

Brightest

If you find yourself here on my side of town,

I pray that you'd come to my door.

And talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about,

Cause I don't remember anymore.

I just know that she warms my heart,

And knows what all my imperfections are.

And she said that I was the brightest little firefly

In her jar.

nothing wrong with listening to music.. nothing wrong with loving bands.. just dont make a new image about the people who created music that changed the world.. cause the songs they play go on a different plane.. they werent made EXTRAORDINARY for the purpose of being ordinary..

back

2006-03-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

*sigh* the term ends with a big bang.. casting of all worries aside for the moment and have a breather.. its really nice to be free from school work.. this term was probably one of the most heart wrenching experiences ever.. although there are a lot of things to go back to that are memorable.. i just had to free my mind from all thinking and just kick back and relax for a change.. release all the negative energy stored inside.. haaaaaayyyyyyy.. sarap mag session sa CR.. nyahahaa.. joke..

few weeks of vacation.. so many things to do with so little time.. time is too precious to waste its burning uhh moonlight... i have to make the most of the time given to me.. i need to go back to jzone.. get in touch with the people that mean most to me.. and hopefully bes ko.. or my fellow j zoners, my beloved D-group and syempre ang walang kamatayang Gensomaden Saiyuki although hindi na kami nagkakasama.. as in never.. i really miss being with those guys..

errr.. im still trying hard to post something worth reading or rather something that comes from the heart.. thats it for now.. im getting frustrated by the minute...

not at my desk

2006-03-12T19:55:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i last posted.. and i think its gonna extend a few days more.. i was facing one of the most hectic days of my life.. projects here and there, exams, lab reports, deadline of payments, consultations [ err.. part time psychologist and uh.. behavior analyst], family, church, life, love err.. you name it you got it.. im literally going insane here.. and at last.. the 4 final days of my classes is calling me.. calling so desperately as if it would never come.. *sigh* i miss a lot of things right now.. but only one could fill this tainted heart of mine.. ive given up a lot of things now.. but i never found the success i was constantly aching for.. a second place in our project.. it means nothing to me now.. no matter how hard i tried to make it.. it just dont feel right anymore.. something more valuable.. far more valuable.. i lost due to my stupidity.. success comes at a very high price my friend.. that is why some people are not all out in getting the things that they desire.. cause the price is.. at its highest cause..

im missing only one person now.. and that is my bes.. no one else.. just her.. just her.. no need for earthly things.. just one word from my world.. i miss you aia..

bad day

2006-03-06T18:42:00.000+08:00

*sigh* this day is really frustrating.. everything just wasnt quite right.. a day full of disappointments..

started like any other day.. i was almost late for my class.. as if that was any different.. i did my lab report on the same day which was totally normal cause i cram all the time..

i had 2 subjects today.. one laboratory and one lecture.. me and my groupmates went to PARAGON PLAZA at MEDIA POOL INC. to do our project for mechanics.. we had an appointment with someone in the place because my dad reffered us there because he said they could help.. with the connections and barely any time left we considered it because it was uh.. a "so called BEST OPTION THAT WE HAD" or so we thought..

before hand.. we were suppose to go to a different company to get our needed interview.. the only problem was my dad couldnt contact the president.. so we had to think of another option.. and my dad provided for that as well which was MEDIA POOL INC.

the important guy told my dad that monday(03-06-06) was fine and the time(3:30pm) was right and that the guy would even introduce us to the people that we have to talk to which was so dang perfect..

this day came and we were excited to finally do something for our project.. and we went all the way from intramuros to boni avenue just to go to the place.. only to be so freakin disappointed..

we went there and had a talk with the VP of operations which i thought was so dang fine.. only to find out that he's not quite what we hoped for.. he barely explained anything for the project.. had so many freakin excuses about his engineer being out and all that crap.. i mean dang! cmon?! so much for lame excuses and his freakin expression saying " hey you kids.. i dont have tim to play around so just leave cause your wasting my time "

we ended up leaving the place empty handed and at a major loss.. after wasting all that time travelling from a far place just to get something done.. all we got was nothing.. NOTHING..

then we all went home thinking of how to cope up with such a great ordeal ahead.. especially when the project was due this coming friday..

then i forgot that the HD was with me and so we couldnt start anything AT ALL FOR THE FREAKIN PROJECT!

*sigh* and double *sigh* bad days just keep on coming..

THANK YOU!

2006-03-04T19:25:00.000+08:00

as my first official post here, i want to say.. THANK YOU BES! she is the one who made this blog for me and i am super thankful.. uh... i dont know what to post yet so medyo papaganahin ko muna ang aking utak.. im kinda frustrated today cause i have classes tomorrow.. a sunday.. wala atang sinasanto ang aking prof.. anyway.. i dont want that to ruin my day err night.. basta.. ty to my bes.. til here nalang for a while.. ill try to come up with something err meaningful to post...

2006-02-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

delinquent

took things for granted, its so ironic
mislaid the trust that was given to me
carried a burden so hard to bear
escaped from reality without a care
i shoved the faces of the ones i love the most
lied to them without thinking twice
jumping around thinking everything was fine
only to take my life away at my prime
broken hearts, broken dreams
broken treasures, broken things
if only i cared enough to be there
instead of me lying on a bed wasted
i dont know how to make it up to you
i dont even know where to start
all i know is i did this to myself
conscience is killing me so intensely
one day i would find myself dying
bleeding on a roof top blood flowing deep
counting every second left in my life praying
i wish i never left home

2006-01-11T12:13:00.000+08:00

down

Everytime I keep looking at your picture

My world just falls into place

I just felt like time stood still

As I gaze at your lovely face

In my mind I can't erase

All tears trying to hold back

Dripping like a water fall in every drop

Escalading down my face whispering

I need you now and forever

Making an image around your wall

Carving your name with a candlestick

Cutting my wrist.. blood gushing out

Screaming out one single thing

On my knees I bow down saying

I need you in my life..

Currently listening to: udub
Currently reading: udub
Currently watching: udub
Currently feeling: udub

2005-05-26T12:55:00.000+08:00

i was on my way to robinsons today.. i left my place at exactly 12 noon.. i got a ride at 12:20.. as the jeepney was moving along its course.. it stopped by at a street after santana drive.. this guy came in and sat down at the seat nearest to the driver.. when i saw him.. a lot of things rushed into my mind.. judging by his looks.. he hasnt eaten yet.. havent had a good nights because of problems.. barely had any possession and im not even sure if he works.. he was simply dressed and acts as if he barely has conciousness.. slow reaction.. slow movements.. as if high on drugs.. i was observing him.. when i went to focus on listening to music.. i noticed a one peso coin on his left side.. the kid on his left also noticed it.. the kid's mother urged her to return it to the man.. when the kid told the old man bout the coin.. he didnt notice it at first and he paid very little attention to what the kid said.. the second time the kid told him about the coin he smiled and gave the coin to the kid.. when he came to his stopover.. he got in his pocket the money he had.. which i think wouldnt even be enough for a meal.. he got nearly 1/2 of his money left and smiled and the kid and said.. "eto oh" with a smile and without the slightest trace of hesitation.. he gave willingly...

giving.. in the point of nothingness.. without hesitation.. as if of no value to him.. such generosity.. he had nothing to offer but still gave.. sacrificing his own.. in exchange for nothing..

2005-05-21T01:47:00.000+08:00

Across the land of this daybreaks touch

The false entrails of bigotry arises

Sent away to unchartered land

With the burden of a man under crisis

Torn between light and darkness

Recovering from the intricate past

The expulsion of this heart's content

Spurned from underneath the earth's crust

The rapids have moved unshaken

Exchanging blows with the tyrants of the sea

Pressed upon the walls of destiny

Locked in the arms, unwilling to be free

Have you seen the sorrow of a flightless bird?

Lest understand the joy in the night

Carrying nothing but soft spoken whispers

Living in this world of terror and strife

2005-04-26T10:55:00.000+08:00

as the days of my life here in this world pass by, I can only remember the times that the sun lit skies and the moon lit nights were shrouded by the dark mist of sorrow. what I thougt was a triumphant era of my life's glory, only to be trampled by the relentless anger of adversities. even at the prime of my life, this sadistic impersonator has done it all to bring me six feet under.

the sense of fulfillment means nothing. for the tyranny of those fetid horrors called people can send you cowering beneath the lowest caverns of this planet. in my life, winning or losing is never decisive. winning was clearly not an option.

always overthrown by a thousand faces not giving you a moment to stand up. even though they play at your game, it just seems to materialize that I just wont win no matter what I do.

The discrepancy between the tides of success and failure is completely dominated by one figure which is defeat. such an intricate and distorted life for a misunderstood person like me. this bewildering sense of outlook only a few were able to comprehend. Losing the way I did.....